The last snow fall for the season!!

This has to be the last snow fall right?!

I mean seriously when do you see snow in May? I don't recall ever having snow after my Birthday which is April 22nd. So last night I was working in the ER when I had a patient telling me about a picture she took in the 1940s and she had taken a piece of cardboard and wrote May 22nd and they were playing in the snow.  Wow!! What a great memory to have over 65 years later!!

So today I wanted the girls to remember playing in the snow in May. I want them to remember mom playing with them helping them roll balls of snow to make a snowman. The girls were laughing at me taking pictures of them with today's date....they just don't get it. But someday they will see these pictures and have a great memory of snow in May.

Now lets just make it the last snow in May!!!!!!

It's too hard to know where to even start when it has been so long since updating!! I guess I will just start with pictures from our summer :) These first two pictures are some of my favorites from the summer. The first picture is of the girls and I in front of the Air Care Helicopter. We took a "field trip" to mommies work and got to see the helicopter and the ambulance.
 The second picture is of Harper riding on our pink pedal tractor.....what a great Iowa image :) The girls have had a great summer playing outside and by the looks of all the toys outside you would think I ran a daycare!

We also had a great time this summer fishing. The girls loved it but weren't so sure about when we actually caught the fish. This was Teagan's first fish a pretty nice bass!!

Here we tried to get a family picture on top of the huge turkey at the pumpkin patch.....didn't work out so well but we did have fun at the "Disney Land of Pumpkin Patches" AKA Carroll's Pumpkin Patch in Grinnell.

Finding A Balance

The last 2 weeks of mommy hood have been really frustrating for me. Blakely who has always been somewhat of a "high needs" baby has decided to stop sleeping, ever. I don't know how she does it but she doesn't sleep maybe an hour or 2. What happened to that literature I read that said babies need like 14-17 hours a day??!! Seriously if she would sleep that many hours a day I could think about possibly complete the mountain and I mean MOUNTAIN of laundry I have in my basement.

Ok so speaking of literature this is where the frustrating parts of being a mom are starting to get to me.

There are many things that frustrate me but I'm just going to talk about sleep.............here's a couple things I've read: 4 month wakefulness period, or 4 month sleep regression whatever the experts want to call it I don't care, I just wish they would decide on the best way to handle it. One lactation consultant writes a really nice article about the developmental milestone at 4 months how breastfed babies start to start being more distracted during the day, wanting to play and watch whats going on around them and forget to eat as much and then at night they want to nurse all night long and want to be close to mommy. You shouldn't let your baby cry it out at night because at night they are hungry and if I let Blakely cry I could lose my milk supply. (Ok, maybe I should back up and state that this is the longest I have exclusively breastfed so this is a whole new mommy world to me that I never shared with my other 2 girls ). Then I go on to read another article that talks about how when babies get to around 4 months they can't get to their REM sleep as easily so its harder for them to get to sleep and back to sleep if the wake up and in this case the baby kind of needs to find out how to soothe themselves and get back to sleep. Both theories kind of make sense....... I don't really know what to do BUT I do know that a tired mom who works evenings that comes home to nurse a baby all night long and then chases around 2 crazy toddlers during the day isn't always a good mom :(

Blakely used to sleep a good 6-7 hour stretch each night, sometimes more. She was fussy more during the day and was always eating. Now she's better during the day and worse at night...not sure which was better.

As moms I feel like we are always being judged, it doesn't matter what you do but it's always judged as good or bad. If I hold Blakely all day and let her co-sleep at night (which I do) then I'm spoiling her too much. But if I let her "cry it out" I'm neglecting her, causing her to give up trust that someone is going to meet her needs. I've decided there has to be a balance.

While I love all 3 of my girls very much I hate that I feel guilty that I don't LOVE holding Blakely 24/7 and sleeping with her every night for the whole night. I'm a total babywearing mom and I read articles about baby wearers and I feel like there is these moms that think I should LOVE wearing her all the time and meeting Blakely's every needs. Blakely's every needs are exhausting me.....if it was up to Blakely I would probably wear her all day long, never put her in her car seat, and never sit down while wearing her, and in fact She would probably just prefer I wear her without my shirt on so she can snack whenever she feels the urge. Blakely would probably also prefer that Teagan and Harper were only around when she wanted to enjoy their entertainment she does not want me to meet the needs of her sisters like feeding them lunch because that means her needs aren't being met. Then at night Blakely would prefer that Brandon didn't sleep in the same bed as us and that she just gets to cozy up next to her mom and eat all night long. I know that this stage wont last forever, and I so desperately want to enjoy every minute of her wanting to be close to me but I also know I need to take care of myself a little bit too or I'm going to end up resenting her and not enjoying any of it which would be way worse.

Hate to say this but we are all born selfish and we all have to learn that there is more then just ourselves in this world. Now at what age we need to start learning this I don't know. There has to be a healthy balance and I'm determined in the next couple of weeks to find this balance so Blakely and I can both be happy :)

Sorry this post is more of just a ramble so I have somewhere to write down what I'm feeling right now.

Sunday School Lesson put to the test

So right now in Sunday school we are studying anxiety and stress. I haven't been able to make it as much as I like due to praise team and then work but I did make it 2 weeks ago and learned a lot. The one thing I learned that I really struggle with is that anxiety and worries are actually a sin. We really need to remember to turn these worries over to God, so while I believe in this, God has tested us over the last 2 weeks. Following this lesson, approx 25 minutes after, Brandon threw his back out again while picking up Harper as she ran from him at church. With shingles partially removed from our roof (we are putting up steel), and me needing some extra help with the girls due to pregnancy and homework, Brandon throwing his back out was not the best timing. So last week I tried to suck it up and take care of Brandon (which I'm not very good at!!), work extra hours (yep I was scheduled an extra shift last week), take care of the girls, and take care of the house (which is lacking majorly, so if you come over please excuse our mess.) After working this weekend I was sore, achy, and cramping so at my appointment on Tuesday I told the doctor and she decided to check my cervix, which I wasn't real surprised but I am dilated at 31 weeks which led to a wheelchair ride down to Labor and delivery to monitor contractions, 48 hours of bed rest, and 2 steroid shots. Fortunately the FFN test showed I most likely wont deliver for the next 2 weeks. However, the doctor decided it is best that I'm off work until I am 36 weeks, and no lifting over 15 lbs, which basically means no picking up Harper who thinks she needs to be carried by mommy a little too much. So now the stress adds up even more, first of all I've only been working for a little over a year at my current job so I really don't have anytime saved up, which means when my short-term disability is up and then I am actually required to take maternity leave I am going to be without any pay, 2nd we still really need to look at getting a new vehicle for Brandon so that he can pick all 3 girls up from daycare when I do go back to work, 3rd I need to finish 1 1/2 more weeks of school, and then all the other daily stuff like cleaning the house, laundry, paying bills, finishing my 10 week countdown list, etc...

Anyways so here is to testing my anxiety and stress Sunday school class. I've typed out my worries, I'm praying and trusting God will provide, and now to try and get some sleep and enjoy the next 4 weeks home with my little girls Teagan and Harper and hoping Blakely decided to stay cozy in my belly a little longer.

10 week countdown!!

Ok, so I'm on the 10 week countdown, or so I hope :) I'm kind of banking on the fact that I had both Teagan and Harper at 38 weeks, Miss Blakely will arrive around the same time right??!!

Lets Hope!

So 10 week countdown and there is sooooo much to do!! Poor Brandon thinks I've lost it trying to get everything organized before Blakely's arrival.

Here is the list

1. Teagan sleeping in her own bed all the way through the night.

2. Potty Train Harper :) She did go potty 4 times today whoo hoo

3. Freezer Meals (I plan to start this tomorrow!!)

4. Sort through the Bins and wash Blakely's clothes

5. Find closet space to put Blakely's clothes (possibly buy another dresser??)

6. Finish my spring cleaning (Yep spring cleaning :) haha

7. Laundry, Laundry and more Laundry

8. Complete Christmas Shopping

9. Continue to blog

10. Oh and complete my BSN I will be done October 25!!! Lots of papers to write before than.

So I started this a week ago and I'm just getting to finish my blog today. I'm getting a little overwhelmed with trying to finish everything plus the daily stuff and work. Maybe I will get a boost of energy this weekend :) Brandon unfortunately has a lot he wants to complete outside too, but I guess if everything doesn't get finished it won't be the end of the world.

Playing Princess

I have always hated the "Princess" craze that goes on with girls, to the point I have refused to buy or let me girls have anything Princess. Part of the reason I have this feeling is I don't want my girls growing up thinking they are "little Princesses" and basically have be spoiled, get away with anything, and everyone should bow to them type attitudes.

No matter how hard I've tried to keep Teagan from being a "girly girl" "princess" I have completely failed. However, I don't consider it truly failing because I don't think she's got the spoiled, get away with anything, and everyone should bow to me attitude that I have feared. Teagan is truly just a "girly girl" she loves to play dress up, loves to put on make up, and have her nails painted, and wear dresses, and loves the color pink. This is nothing that I have taught her, it's just Teagan and her personality and that God made her what she is a GIRL. One example is that we are looking at getting her a pedal tractor for Christmas and we were looking through the toy catalog and she saw the pink tractor, and said "Daddy I want the pink tractor" and Brandon (who really wants to get her a red one and not a "girly" one) said "Teagan don't you want the red tractor? It will match Daddy's" Teagan replied "No Daddy red tractors are for boys, and pink tractors are for girls" LOL I think Brandon might as well just get used to pink :)

Not that we've tried to make Teagan a "Baby X" example for those of you psychology/Sociology people but we've never tried to push this is what girls do and have this is what boys do and have. Teagan has taught me a true lesson here, it's our nature we are girls, we have certain feelings, certain likes, certain emotions, because God made us girls and it's OK that we are girls and God has certain roles that a girl plays and certain roles boys play.

I had pretty much given up on trying to avoid Teagan being a girly girl, when we go shopping I pretty much just buy her dresses because I know that's what she will wear, and I paint her nails, and let her put on make up and perfume sometimes, and its fun I really enjoy being a girl with her and I look forward to having Harper and Blakely want to play along soon too!

My lesson from Teagan is not the first nor will it be the last, I think it's part of being the first born she will teaching me many things about being a mom as I will try and teach her many things about being a girl. I feel even better about this as I am reading the book "bringing up GIRLS" by Dr. James Dobson. Last night in the chapter it talked about why girls love to be princesses and dress up. It also gave me a new perspective, if we look at some of the Disney examples of Princesses like Cinderella, Snow White, and Belle. Why wouldn't I want my girls to grow up like them?? Cinderella served her step sisters and mom really without complaint, she later found her true love, with a glass slipper, and lived happily ever after. Cinderella didn't go through man after man, kissing and being a "sexual object", she had one Prince, and she fell in love and they got married. Snow White was about to be killed by her step mother and she lived in the forest where she served the seven dwarfs and found her true love, got married, and lived happily ever after, and Belle she fell in love with a Beast, taught him many things, and he became a Prince and they lived "HAPPILY EVER AFTER"

My hope for my girls is someday WAY DOWN the road, find their one true Prince, fall in love, get married, and live Happily Ever After. I don't want them to settle for anything less, I don't want them to be "sex objects" like we see on TV of women with several men and never truly being happy. I want them to be Christian women that have respect for themselves, their bodies, and respect for others, and not settle for anything less than what God has planned for them. Which we know is truly amazing!!!

Baby girl #3

We finally had our ultrasound on Monday and like I said previously Brandon was convinced it was a boy and I was not so convinced......A mother's instinct I guess but yes we are having baby girl #3, Blakely Ann Sowers.

So everyone keeps asking if we are disappointed?? Heres the answer: No how could we be disappointed?? She's healthy, she's growing, and God has blessed us with another girl. During the ultrasound we just kept laughing. Brandon and I both know how crazy its going to be with 3 girls in the house, and poor Brandon is getting further and further outnumbered (Which I am ok with :)

I keep thinking about when I was growing up and playing with babies and pushing them in the stroller never in a million years did I expect to have all girls. And today when I was sitting there in the living room with both girls on the blanket wanting their toe nails painted, I thought to myself never imagined doing this either, and when Teagan wanted to brush Brandon's hair the other night hahaha I bet he never imagined 3 little girls sitting on his lap wanting to do his hair. I always thought that I would have at least one of each, a boy first of course to protect his sisters (just like my brother protected me haha) and then after that a couple girls. Now that plan is out the window and we just move on and enjoy 3 little girls running around our house and maybe someday there will be a boy in our future.

Like Brandon said the other day "someday the boys will come" (whether its one of our own or one of the boys that wants to date our daughter.)